Martial Arts and your Magical Child
By Teresa Lhotka

Why Kung Fu? Other parents ask me this all the time. Why not a “normal” sport, like hockey or football. Well, frankly, we tried hockey.

We live in Eden Prairie, surrounded by upper-middle-class super-achievers, and due to that atmosphere, hockey was a disaster for my driven but unfocused son. He loved playing hockey, but the three-to-five practices per week on top of games and an end-of-season tournament was just too intense for him.

On top of that, he played the violin and attended after-school enrichment classes: Spanish and Chess. Keep in mind, these were things that he wanted to do. He pestered, cajoled, wheedled, positively begged to do all these things. He wanted them, and I did my very best to keep up. Then he started talking about soccer and tennis and baseball.

When I found myself picking him up from chess one day, running to his violin lesson with half his hockey gear on so that he could make it to practice immediately afterwards (eating a sandwich and carrot sticks in the car on the way), I came to the conclusion that I was crazy. We did not sign up for hockey the next season, and when his violin teacher quit teaching to go back to performing, we just didn’t find another one.

In a city where we have 27 Valedictorians, each of whom have a laundry list of honors in a staggering variety of sports and arts activities, the achievement game is a losing game.

That’s why Kung Fu. Two classes on the weekends, no practices, no games, tournaments are available but not mandatory. You are responsible for your own achievement, and can work at your own pace.

“But don’t you want a well-rounded child?” I’ve been asked. The answer is “Yes”, of course. We want our children to develop mentally, physically, and spiritually into the best people that they can be. The beauty of martial arts is that they teach the development and focus of mental, spiritual and physical power. They are a sport, and art, and a philosophy. There is even science. Anatomy and physiology are critical to the martial arts, and a student learns the names and functions of muscles, tendons, bones and nerves.

The memory is honed and expanded by the memorization of forms. My children and I study traditional Shaolin Kung Fu, which has very long, complex forms. Focus and concentration are key to this as well.

Instead of separating out mental, spiritual, and physical effort, the martial arts integrate these aspects of ourselves. Yes, it is important to develop all of these areas, but isn’t it also important to remain a whole person while doing it?

“OK”, concede some, “But what about teamwork? It’s all well and good for a kid to work on her own, but shouldn’t she learn to work as part of a team as well?”

The answer is “Absolutely”, but my argument with team sports is just that: children who are the weak link in a team know it. If they make a mistake and cost the team the game, they know it…and so do the “good” players that they let down. Ridicule, resentment, and frustration result for everyone. It is not fair that the talented players have to be held back, and the less talented bear all of the blame when the team loses the game. Is it a lesson in teamwork when the good players get all the time on the field, and the others warm the bench?

Go to a martial arts school sometime, and observe a class. You will see students working at their own pace, overcoming personal obstacles, working to perfect that one technique that eludes them, and you will see the other students giving them pointers, holding the target pads, cheering them on, giving words of encouragement, and setting good examples for how to work and achieve.

In a martial arts classroom, everyone has two roles, that of the student working on his own achievement, and that of a peer mentor, helping others with their achievement.

A good martial arts school is a community, and there is no room for unhealthy rivalries or any kind of ridicule or put-downs. In a good school, everyone works alone and together, learning at once how to cultivate themselves, and how to cultivate others. Isn’t that teamwork, and isn’t it more conducive to the people that we want our kids to be?

Kung Fu has been a wonderful experience for our whole family. I take lessons myself, and help with my kid’s class. We practice together, and watch cheesy Kung Fu movies together. We share an admiration of Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee. In a world where the generation gap is a major marketing tool, how often do you get to have the same hero as your kids?

Our lives are calmer, healthier, more focused and more balanced than ever before. So it doesn’t really bother us when our neighbors pause in their mad dash to Cub Scouts, soccer, hockey, football, baseball, church school, orchestra, choir, chess club and that evening dinner meeting to give us funny looks as we practice forms in the front yard.

E-mail Teresa


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